Monday, March 5, 2012

Blogging In My Head

If I had time to put thoughts to paper... errr, screen I could of blogged a ton in the last month. My life has been a blur of "God moments." Many posts have been written and left untyped. It's been fun to see the connections between what I'm studying at Women's Bible Fellowship, reading in my Lent devotional, hearing during Sunday morning and Ash Wednesday services, in conversations with friends, connecting with others at the Justice conference/advocating for Compassion, leading a parenting group, exploring through pastoral team meeting spiritual practices, preparing for Women's Retreat, and observing in Leviticus and Numbers with my 15-year-old.

Themes of sacrifice, focusing on wholeness vs. happiness, and coming back to the center of faith have bombarded me daily. I'm so grateful for our God who makes himself known and available. I recognize that sometimes it takes effort on my part to settle down enough to hear his voice. At other times (like now) it's in the middle of my busyness where I see him everywhere. What brings me comfort and joy this season is not based on clear answers but rather His presence. I still don't know where I'm going or how I'm going to get there, but I do know God is going with me. Perhaps being able to have peace in that truth is evidence of the Holy Spirit at work.

God loves to be creative. As a potter he sculpts us into the likeness of his Son Jesus Christ. He does not have us fit in a mold, but rather uses our "raw materials" to shape us into something unique and beautiful. As a weaver God takes the threads of our days and our inmost being and knits them together into a garment of praise. The questions I ask myself: Am I willing to let God be creative in my life? Is it ok if God creates something one day, then scraps it, and remakes it the next?

This Lenten season I've given up excuses. No longer will I hold off of letting God into each and every part of who I am, what I'm about, or where I hope to go. I will release my burdens to him. I'll walk into the wilderness, be tempted by confusion, and comforted by grace. I'm finding that the good life means more about wrapping my life around Christ than it does around my dreams. With childlike faith I'll put trust in the One who is infinitely wise, unconditionally loving, and abounding in hope.

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